"Julian & Me"

As far back as I can remember, the first day of summer meant only one thing. At seven o’clock in the morning, my mother burst into my room with the same canvas bag I’d had since I’d started school. Pulling me by the hair, she ordered me to pack as much as I could in half an hour before she shoved me out the door.

            My brother Julian was twelve that year, and dreaded what was to come. He also had a cheap canvas bag in hand when he looked into my room, his minimal wardrobe already thrown inside it. When I looked up at him, he shuffled his feet and looked down at the floor.

            “Ready?” he asked as I tossed a couple t-shirts on top of everything. “It’s seven-fifteen.”

            Tapping the face of his watch, he dove back into his room when he heard our mother shuffling into the hallway. I sat at the foot of my bed with the bag in my lap when she came in, patting the pocket of her worn and faded robe. She peeled off two twenties from a wad of bills and fished around the bottom of the pocket for another one. Clutching the money in her fist, she offered it towards me.

            “Here, take it,” she said as I slowly reached for the bills. “Take it and don’t you or your brother waste it on useless shit.”

            I shoved the money in my jeans pocket and threw the bag over my shoulder. Standing in the doorway, I watched as she handed Julian his allowance and kissed him on the forehead, patting his shoulder as he slid it into his pocket.  I could feel the heat from her glare as she turned from him and walked back down the hallway.

            Julian took one last look in his room before we started for the door. His Gameboy sat on the nightstand beside his bed – the one luxury Mother allowed him, at least while we remained at home. I had nothing left from my childhood – when I was seven, she’d told me that my Barbie dolls had all suddenly decided to move to Malibu.

            Mother stood in the front door as we trudged towards her, Julian going first. Facing him, she put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. She reached for the door and smiled as she guided him out. He stood on the doorstep, watching.

            She turned towards me and looked me in the eye. I felt her nails dig into my skin when she grabbed my shoulder.

            “You better take good care of him. Be back by September first.” I nodded, and with that, she shut the door behind us.

            Julian and I already had our bus passes for the month for when we went to school. When class let out on the fifteenth, we had stashed them away for this occasion. Though we had a hundred bucks between us, it was our responsibility to make sure we had enough to get home by the end of August.